Official Guidelines to Solidifying Yourself as Best Aunt Ever Ever
1. Move far away so nieces (or nephews) may take an airplane ALL BY THEMSELVES to see you. It is only when you fly by yourself that you get many things "free," such as chocolate and caramel apples.
2. Arm said nieces with their own cameras. A short film lesson may be in order (you have to look through that little hole to see the picture. no, you can't see the picture you just took on a little screen. yes, you have to wind before you take EVERY picture.).
4. Always have makeovers. More than two is preferable.
5. Go out for pizza in heels. Heels should be at least 3 sizes too big. And expensive.
6. Eat skittles with skittle fingers
7. Pick your very own pumpkin, even if you have to get Uncle Tyla to lift it into the wagon for you.
8. Must ensure that everyone gets the exact same amount of everything (popcorn, rootbeer in the rootbeer floats, marshmallows in hot chocolate, etc...) or points towards best aunt ever award will be deducted. The only way to remedy this horrendous mistake is to make sure that everyone gets double (or triple, in extreme cases) the next time.
9. Get very dirty. It is ALWAYS worth it. Especially when you HAVE to make arrows to show the birds where to find their nests (obviously).
10. Lick your fingers. Especially after making cinnamon knots.
11. Do not let the wind blow you off the tallest building in the world, although it is sure fun to let it try.
12. If you are afraid of heights, lie down.
13. Make your own princess slippers. Use any thing available that can be glued, taped, cut or twisted.
14. Eat dinner in the middle of a rain storm. Preferrably in a rainforest.
15. Get lost. Corn fields are the best places to do so. Bring Uncle Tyla and his sense of direction. Use him ONLY if you are so lost that you may actually be lost forever and will never see mom or dad or siblings or best friends or food ever again.
16. You are movie stars if you are on, see from a distance, or sneak close enough to a real live movie set.
17. Hold both hands extra tight and give lots and lots and lots of kisses when niece has been waiting 2 days and FINALLY gets her ears pierced. And only go to ear piercing facilities that give lollipops to ear piercee AND ear piercee's moral support.
18. Find trees on fire, swan princesses, and grass taller than you. It is all magical. Every. Last. Single. Tinsy. Weensy. Thing. Must never forget this. And take a bazillion pictures. You do not want to forget one millionth of a second.
19. Have a theme song.
21. Cry lots and lots when you have to wave goodbye to them at the airport.
I love you, girly girls. Come back soon.
Auntie Holly/Best Aunt Ever